The (Other) Keir Hardie Teatowel

Another unwished-for contribution by former fundamentalist and (for who knows what reason? Perhaps he’s some kind of spy?) over-enthusiastic supporter of The Scottish Reportage, Tom Morton.

 

Keir Hardie was dapper
His nickname was ‘Papa’
He took PE and games
His illustrious name
Was his  grandad’s
It cut no ice with the lads
Of Marr College
Our political knowledge
Was zero
An old Labour hero
Meant nothing in Troon
We preferred Gordon Broon
(Not the politician
The rugby tactician
Always full of good cheer
And possibly some beer
But that was back in the day
When Scotland could play)

Today, I saw something foul
A Keir Hardie tea towel
Highly absorbent
Signed by Jeremy Corbyn
£100, it’s on offer
To replenish Labour’s coffers
And briefly I wondered
If someone had blundered
And my old schoolmaster
In a PR disaster
Was now drying plates
With a screen print of his face

Which would have been quite a story
Because I suspect

Papa was a Tory…

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